Blessed with Love Twice: Embracing the Past and Cherishing the Present

Navigating the path from widowhood to remarriage is a journey marked with unexpected emotions, profound memories, and new blessings. When I first lost my husband, the man I thought would stand beside me for a lifetime, my world felt shattered. His absence left a void I believed no one could fill. And while time has passed and healing has brought itself through the fabric of my life, he remains a deeply loved part of who I am.

I remarried—a blessing that, even as I write this, feels like an unexpected second gift of love. This past week on November 5th, I was blessed to celebrate my 13th wedding anniversary with my husband Chantz. What’s unique about this chapter in my story is that I have now been married to my second husband longer than I was to my first. This milestone is tender and beautiful, but it’s also one that gently tugs at old wounds, bringing a rush of emotions that I’m learning to embrace.

When I think about these two loves, it feels like carrying two separate yet connected worlds. They don’t overlap, but they coexist. My first husband will always have a sacred place in my heart, and the love I feel for him honors his life and legacy. The love I feel for Chantz now is filled with gratitude, for he walked into our story understanding that my heart had been deeply marked by another.

I wasn’t looking for love again; I was simply searching for something to hold onto, and in that search, I found my faith. By letting go and trusting God, I came to realize that He knew exactly what my heart needed. To my surprise, a man entered our lives who loved us deeply, even in our brokenness and grief. Chantz didn’t see the shattered pieces; he saw what could be. He fought for our love and embraced the chance to be part of a healing story far bigger than any of us could have imagined

For anyone walking this path, know that it’s okay to feel both the pain of loss and the gratitude for new love; these feelings don’t cancel each other out. Grief and joy can truly coexist. We can honor both loves, holding their places in our hearts without guilt or shame. Each love story, each chapter, carries its own beautiful purpose, allowing us to feel sadness for what we’ve lost and joy for what we’ve gained

In every passing year, I honor my first husband's memory while also celebrating the life I’ve built with Chantz. This path has taught me that love, no matter how or when it arrives, has the power to heal. So, if you, too, find yourself in a place of feeling both, know that it’s okay. It’s okay to love, to grieve, and to let both emotions remind you of the beauty of connection.