Give Up Complaining and Choose Gratitude
Grief gives us plenty to complain about.
Life after loss is hard, unfair, exhausting. The world keeps turning, people move on, and we’re left figuring out how to exist in a life that looks nothing like the one we had before.
So we vent. We sigh. We ask, Why me? We wonder why others have the happy endings we were praying for. We question why grief is so isolating and why life keeps throwing challenge after challenge at us when we’re already carrying more than enough.
And you know what? That’s okay.
Because here’s the thing: complaining is natural. It’s a release valve for the weight of grief. It helps us feel heard, validated, and seen in our suffering.
But when complaining becomes our default, when we live in that space of frustration and bitterness, it can keep us stuck.
And what if—just maybe—Lent is calling us to shift our perspective?
The Link Between Complaining & Grief
Complaining in grief often comes from a place of deep pain. We complain because we’re hurting, because life feels unfair, because people don’t understand. And none of that is wrong.
But here’s what I’ve learned: complaining focuses on what’s missing, while gratitude focuses on what remains.
That doesn’t mean gratitude erases the pain. It doesn’t mean we slap on a fake smile and say “everything happens for a reason” (because, let’s be honest, that phrase is the worst).
It just means we start looking for glimpses of goodness—even in the midst of loss.
What Gratitude Looks Like in Grief
Choosing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the pain. It means holding both—the sorrow and the small joys, the loss and the love that still surrounds us.
🕊 Gratitude for the people who show up. Even if others have let you down, who has been there? Who has checked in, listened, or simply sat beside you in your grief?
🕊 Gratitude for the memories. Yes, they bring pain, but they also remind us that love was real. That connection doesn’t disappear just because someone is no longer physically here.
🕊 Gratitude for the strength you’ve found in the hardest moments. You have survived every single one of your worst days. That is not small.
🕊 Gratitude for the ways God still meets us in our grief. It might be in the quiet moments, in the kindness of a stranger, in the whisper of a song that plays at just the right time.
Gratitude doesn’t erase grief, but it shifts the weight. It reminds us that even in the darkness, there is still light to be found.
An Invitation to Shift Your Perspective
This week, I invite you to notice—not force, not fake, just notice—where gratitude might be peeking through the cracks of your grief.
💜 What’s one small thing you can be grateful for today, even in your pain?
💜 Where have you seen love show up in the middle of your loss?
It doesn’t have to be big. It can be as simple as a warm cup of coffee, a friend who texted at the right time, a memory that made you smile through the tears.
Because when we begin to notice, we begin to shift.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s how healing begins.
🕊️ Stay tuned for next week’s reflection: “Giving Up Pessimism and Choosing Hope.”