Give Up Resentment and Become More Forgiving

Lenten Blog Series: Giving Up What Weighs Us Down in Grief

Give Up Resentment and Become More Forgiving

Grief changes us. It stretches us, wounds us, and, if we’re not careful, it can also harden us. One of the heaviest burdens grief places on our hearts is resentment—a weight we may not even realize we’re carrying.

Maybe you resent the doctors who couldn’t save them.
Maybe you resent the people who didn’t show up for you in your grief.
Maybe you resent God for allowing this loss to happen.
Or maybe, hardest of all, you resent yourself—for what you said, what you didn’t say, for simply being the one still here.

Resentment builds walls—between us and others, between us and healing, between us and faith. It doesn’t protect us like we think it will. It traps us. And if we want to move toward peace, toward healing, we have to release it.

The Link Between Grief and Resentment

Resentment often comes from unfairness—and grief can feel like the greatest unfairness of all. The world keeps moving, people go on with their lives, while we sit in the wreckage of what once was. It’s easy to hold onto anger, to replay the “if only” moments, to let bitterness take root in the spaces where love once lived.

But here’s the hard truth: resentment doesn’t change what happened. It only changes us.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is not about letting others off the hook or pretending the pain isn’t real. Forgiveness is about freedom.

What Forgiveness Looks Like in Grief

Forgiveness in grief isn’t a one-time act. It’s a process—one that requires faith, intention, and sometimes, a whole lot of deep breaths.

• Forgiving the people who didn’t say the right things. They may not understand your pain, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care.
• Forgiving yourself. For the guilt, the regrets, the things you wish you could change. You were human. You loved. And that is enough.
• Forgiving God. If faith has felt distant, if you’ve felt abandoned in your sorrow, you are not alone. But maybe, just maybe, God is still holding you—patiently waiting for you to bring your anger, your heartbreak, your questions to Him.

The Invitation to Let Go

Lent is an invitation—a time to lay down what is too heavy to carry. This week, I invite you to ask yourself:

💜 Where am I holding onto resentment in my grief?
💜 What would it look like to begin releasing it?

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t even have to feel ready. You just have to be willing.

Because forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but it does open the door to healing. And maybe that’s what Lent is calling us toward—not just giving something up, but gaining something greater.

Are you ready to let go?

🕊️ Stay tuned for next week’s reflection: “Giving Up Hatred and Choosing to Return Good for Evil.”