We are definitely winding down and entering the holiday season. If you read my last week's blog you understand the "grinch" that lives in my heart. I hope that the blog itself wasn't negative or anything for you all and I hope it gave you a scope of insight not only how I feel, but how I know a lot of people feel. The holidays are hard. PERIOD.
I truly do hope that as you wake on Christmas Eve day and Christmas morning, you can find space in your heart to allow the gentleness of this life to encompass you. I pray that the memories of your loved ones who have gone before you, fill your heart with nothing but warmth. It will be sad, there will be no bypassing the sadness of what "should" be; but there is space for loving and acknowledging the life they lived and the holidays past that you used to share. Give yourself GRACE, give yourself BREATH, give yourself LOVE, give yourself the MEMORIES.
It can be okay and sometimes the leading up to the day is always harder. We gear up for the Christmas holiday months ahead of time and by the time it actually gets here, we really want it all just to be DONE!!!
A couple of years ago I came across the "Grief Train" analogy written by Jan Warner and let me tell you; I think it is a beautiful analogy of grief and the ride we are on during our time of grief. I like to share it during the holiday season because this is the time we really want to stay on the train of grief. So, I'm sharing it with you all now, I hope it comforts and resonates with you as you journey through this holiday season.
When the grief train pulled into my station I got on and found a comfortable seat to snuggle into. I watched the world go by and was quite content in my unhappiness. Then I saw that other people were getting off the grief train. Some of them I never saw again and I didn't know where they went. Others would get off and get back on again. We talked about the adventures they had. I began to realize that maybe my comfortable seat wasn't so comfortable anymore. Maybe I could participate in some adventures instead of just being an observer. I took my baggage with me and got off at the very next station. I had quite a lovely time. Now I had a story to tell when I got back on the train. I was surprised when someone told me that I could leave my baggage on the train when I decided to get off. I was rather attached to my baggage. However, I decided to try it. I was given a golden receipt to reclaim it and that reassured me. This time when I got off of the train I decided to stay off longer. I had several adventures. When I got back on the train, there was all my baggage waiting for me. I didn't need so much of it now. The man in charge of the baggage compartment told me there were a lot of people who loved to carry a lot of baggage and he would give some of mine to them. And so it went.