The holidays are often painted as a season of joy and celebration, but for those of us who have loved and lost, this time of year can also carry a bittersweet weight. We find ourselves in the space between missing those who are no longer with us and seeking ways to honor their memories while still embracing the present. But here's the thing: it’s okay to feel all the feels—the joy, the sadness, and everything in between. Grief has a funny way of reminding us just how deeply we’ve loved, and that love doesn’t have to be tucked away, even during the holidays.
Keeping Their Spirit Alive
One of my favorite ways to navigate the holiday season is by weaving my loved ones’ memories into the fabric of our traditions. Maybe it’s a recipe that reminds you of them, a quirky holiday decoration they adored, or even a song that brings them back to you. These moments of remembrance don’t have to be grand; they can be as simple as hanging a special ornament or lighting a candle in their honor.
After my son Garret died, I created the 'feather ornament' that I now sell to so many of you. It was my way of giving and remembering his bright light for all our family and friends. Also, starting that holiday we received several 'memory' ornaments in Garret's honor and I still hang them today. Every year after, I would hang his stocking and I would purchase an angel ornament or something of remembrance for Garret and I always remember the excitement my daughter Graci would get to see what ornament Santa would leave Garret. I LOVE my angel tree now.
Finding Laughter in the Little Things
I’ve learned that grief doesn’t always have to feel heavy. Sometimes, it shows up in moments of laughter. Like the time Jack and I made the turkey for the holiday and when we went to get it ready to carve and eat, the turkey was still raw and never cooked! (still dumbfounded by this one). Stories like these remind me that their essence is still very much a part of my life, and they can bring a smile when I need it most.
Creating New Traditions
While honoring old memories is important, creating new ones is just as meaningful. Grief can make us hesitant to embrace the future, but there’s something healing about leaning into the present. Maybe it’s starting a gratitude jar where everyone writes what they’re thankful for or hosting a holiday card exchange to spread joy and connection. (Speaking of which, my Cards of Comfort Club is a perfect way to send love and warmth to others during the season. A small gesture can mean the world to someone navigating their own grief.)
Holding on to Hope
The holidays can be a gentle reminder that, while grief is part of our story, so is resilience. Better days don’t mean forgetting; they mean finding ways to carry our loved ones with us as we move forward. Hope is often found in the quiet moments—the glow of holiday lights, the laughter of children, or the warmth of a shared meal.
After our son Garret died, I had to do something that was tangible for someone who was the same age as Garret. We decided to adopt a family each year making sure that they had a boy the same age as Garret would be. This is what holding onto Hope felt like for me. I had to carry Garret's memory with me someway, somehow and I felt by giving to these other children/families that I was giving and honoring Garret.
Creating Space for Healing
It’s also important to carve out time to honor your feelings. Maybe it’s a quiet moment with a candle lit in their memory or writing them a letter about the year that’s passed. For me, lighting a candle and letting the glow fill the room feels like a small connection to Garret, Jack, Seth, & Brooke.
This season, give yourself permission to step away when you need to, embrace the memories that bring you comfort, and say no to things that feel overwhelming. Grief doesn’t work on a schedule, and that’s okay.
Hope for the New Year
If the holidays feel heavy, hold on to this: each season brings the opportunity to grow stronger, to let light seep back into our lives. The love we carry for those we’ve lost doesn’t fade—it transforms us, shapes us, and stays with us.
This year as I do every year, I’ll be raising a glass to my loved ones' and to all the moments we shared. I’ll also be toasting to the hope of better days ahead and the beauty of healing, one step at a time.
To everyone missing someone this season: your grief is valid, your love is endless, and your heart is stronger than you know. May your holidays be filled with moments of warmth, laughter, and the quiet assurance that love is forever.
With hope and light,
Angie