Grief is one of the hardest journeys anyone can walk, and when someone we love is experiencing it, it’s natural to want to help. But often, our well-meaning words fall short, and we can unintentionally cause more hurt than healing. I’ve been there—both as a friend wanting to show up and as someone who’s lived through profound losses. Through my current grief work and my own personal journey, I’ve learned that showing up for someone in grief is more about presence than perfection.
If you’ve ever felt at a loss for words around a grieving friend, you’re not alone. The truth is, there aren’t magic words that will make their pain disappear. But there *are* ways you can show up and provide the comfort they need without worrying about saying the wrong thing.
Here are 3 simple ways to show up for a grieving friend:
1. Offer Presence, Not Platitudes
One of the most comforting things you can do for someone grieving is simply *be there*. Sometimes, we think we need to say something profound or offer a solution, but the reality is, what grieving people need most is presence. Sitting in silence with them, letting them cry, or simply holding space for their feelings can be more powerful than any words.
If you're unsure of what to say, it's okay to admit that. You can say something like, "I don't have the right words, but I'm here for you." That vulnerability is honest and real, and it shows you care deeply without trying to fix something that can't be fixed.
This is where thoughtful gestures like sending a heartfelt card from my *Cards of Comfort Club* can be so meaningful. A simple note that says "I’m thinking of you" can speak volumes when words feel inadequate.
2. Acknowledge Their Loss
It’s common to worry that bringing up their loved one will remind them of their pain, but the truth is—they’re already thinking about their loss. Ignoring it or pretending everything is normal can make your grieving friend feel even more isolated.
Instead, acknowledge their loss directly. You can say, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” or “I’ve been thinking about [their loved one’s name] a lot.” This lets your friend know that their grief is seen, that their pain is valid, and that their loved one is remembered.
I’ve curated cards specifically for these moments, designed to honor the person who’s passed while offering comfort to the one left behind. In those days when you can’t find the right words, a card can be that gentle, caring acknowledgment your friend needs.
3. Provide Practical Help
Grief is exhausting, and often, grieving individuals don’t have the energy to ask for help, even though they need it. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer specific help. For example, “I’m bringing dinner over tomorrow,” or “I’m going to the grocery store—what can I pick up for you?”
These small, practical acts of kindness can ease the burden of daily life when your friend is feeling overwhelmed. And if distance makes it hard to physically show up, you can join the *Cards of Comfort Club*. Every month, you will receive a curated selection of cards that you can send out every couple weeks; each one a gentle reminder that they’re not alone, and that they have people who care about them—even when words are hard to find.
At the end of the day, grief isn’t something we can fix for the people we love. But we can walk alongside them, offering support, love, and understanding as they navigate the hardest moments of their life. You don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing. What matters most is that you show up.
As someone who is building a business in the grief world and someone who’s walked the road of loss myself, I know how isolating grief can feel. But with the right support—even just a simple card—we can remind our loved ones that they don’t have to carry their grief alone. WE ARE BETTER TOGETHER!
1 comment
Very helpful!