Grief is a slow burn in a world that moves at lightning speed.
We live in a society where everything is instant—food, news, entertainment, even sympathy. You post about your loss on social media, get a flood of condolences for about 48 hours, and then? The world moves on. But you? You’re still standing in the wreckage, wondering how everyone else gets to return to normal while your heart feels permanently out of sync.
The reality is, grief doesn’t fit into the neatly scheduled lives we’ve all been conditioned to maintain. It’s unpredictable, inconvenient, and messy. And yet, the world expects us to “bounce back” as if loss is just another checkbox on life’s to-do list.
But grief doesn’t work that way. It never has. And frankly, it never should.
So, let’s talk about what’s happening to the grieving process in this fast-paced world—and why we need to reclaim the space to grieve properly.
Grief Then vs. Grief Now: The Evolution of Mourning
There was a time, 30+ years ago, when mourning was a visible, societal act. If you saw someone dressed in black, you knew they had lost someone. It was a quiet, external symbol of grief, and in some ways, that acknowledgment was powerful. But the downside? They didn’t talk about it.
People knew you were mourning, but they didn’t ask about your person. Their name became a ghost in conversations. You knew your neighbor had lost a spouse, your coworker had lost a child, your friend had lost a parent—but no one said their names. No one asked, “What were they like?”
Instead, people were expected to suffer in silence.
And now? Now we’re changing that.
We are saying their names. We are writing about them. We are sharing grief openly, through books, through blogs, through cards that remind people they are not alone. We are choosing to grieve out loud.
We’ve evolved from mourning in black to mourning in full color—by keeping their memory alive, by continuing to talk about them, by refusing to let their stories end just because they are no longer physically here.
And that shift? It matters.
Because grief shouldn’t be silent.
The Rush to "Get Over It"
Even though we’ve made progress in talking about grief, we still live in a world that wants to rush us through it. Once upon a time, mourning had a timeline—wear black for a year, follow certain customs, and then life resumes. Now? The timeline has shrunk down to weeks, sometimes days.
You get a handful of condolences, a few check-ins, and then—radio silence.
And let’s not even get started on the phrase "moving on." It’s as if people think grief is a hurdle to clear rather than a lifelong companion. Moving forward? Absolutely. Learning to carry the loss differently? Of course. But moving on—like it never happened? Not a chance.
The Power and Pitfalls of Social Media Grief
Social media has helped grief evolve in many ways. It allows us to share our loss, to find community, to honor anniversaries and birthdays, to keep their names alive.
But it also creates a strange divide—because if you aren’t grieving, it’s hard to understand those of us who are.
Grief doesn’t make sense unless you’ve lived it. And that disconnect can make social media a double-edged sword. We share our pain, our memories, our longing—only for some people to scroll past, unable to sit in the discomfort of our loss.
And yet, we keep sharing. Because it matters. Because somewhere out there, someone else is grieving too, and they need to know they aren’t the only one still saying the name of their loved one years later.
Grief doesn’t expire. Love doesn’t expire. And our stories? They shouldn’t disappear just because the world wants to move on.
Reclaiming the Right to Grieve Fully
The modern world may try to rush us through grief, but we don’t have to comply.
Here’s my challenge to you:
- Take your time. There is no deadline for healing.
- Speak their name. Keep your loved one’s memory alive, even when the world forgets.
- Reject the pressure to "move on." Instead, move forward in a way that honors your grief.
- Surround yourself with people who get it. Seek out community, whether in person or online, where grief isn’t treated as something to be ashamed of.
Most of all? Give yourself grace. Grief isn’t something to be conquered—it’s something to be carried. And in a world that moves too fast, the bravest thing we can do is slow down and honor our hearts.
Because love doesn’t expire. And neither does grief.