I was listening to a podcast the other day when Mel Abraham said something that stopped me in my tracks. He was talking about choices. His story centered around a cancer diagnosis and the financial struggles that came with it. Yet, his words went far beyond his own circumstances—they carried truth for anyone walking through life’s darkest valleys, including grief.
He said there comes a tipping point in our lives when we have to face what we’ve been dealt: whether it’s a diagnosis, a job loss, or the death of someone we love. These are the cards in our hands. We don’t get to swap them out. We don’t get to go back and ask for a different set. The question becomes: What’s the best way to play them?
That idea resonated with me deeply. Because in grief, there is no fixing the death of our loved one. There is no do-over button. But we still have a choice.
Mel shared how he made the decision to control what he could. He video journaled every day—pouring out his anger, his loss, his fears. He reached out to those who could sit with him, not to fix him, not to offer platitudes, but to simply be present. Those choices didn’t erase his pain, but they gave him a way forward.
And that’s where my heart leans into one of my favorite life lessons—the 3 C’s: Choices, Chances, and Changes.
I didn’t come up with this exact idea, but I reshaped it through my own grief and growth.
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I had to make a CHOICE: would I give up, or would I survive each day? I chose survival.
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To do that, I had to take a CHANCE: a chance on my broken heart, a chance on learning to live and love again.
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And slowly, I began to see my life CHANGE: into a story that, while marked by heartbreak and death, also holds love, hope, and renewal.
These aren’t easy steps. They are daily decisions, sometimes moment-by-moment. But the gift of choice is always present. Even in grief, even in loss, we can choose how we show up.
Choice is about vision. It’s about shifting how we see our circumstances—not in toxic positivity or pretending the pain doesn’t exist—but in deciding to find meaning in the moments, to hold on to relationships, to move forward in ways that honor both our loved ones and ourselves.
We don’t get to choose what happened to us. But we do get to choose what we do with it.
So today, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself:
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What choice am I making in my grief?
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What chance might I take with this broken heart?
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And what changes could slowly unfold if I allow hope to walk alongside my sorrow?
Because life, even in its most fragile seasons, is built on the gift of choice. And when we choose to survive, to risk loving again, and to allow change to come—our story, though broken, can still become beautiful.
As we step into September, I’m excited to share that I’ll be starting a brand-new Fall blog series here on Butterflies + Halos. 🍂 This series will be filled with comforting reflections, practical tips, and heart-to-heart encouragement for grieving hearts during the changing season. Fall has its own rhythm of nostalgia, slowing down, and remembering — and together, we’ll explore how hope can still find its way into the darker evenings and cooler days. Stay tuned next week for the kickoff post!