The "talk" - money talk that is, well actually life insurance talk

The "talk" - money talk that is, well actually life insurance talk

Do you have life insurance? Do you have life insurance on your children/child?  If you have had someone die, did they have life insurance?  Were you left with money or were you left drowning in bills? (this is not sponsored)

This topic I feel is so important, yet it is almost always never discussed.  Why?  Is a simple term policy for maybe $20/month just too much for you?  What if that policy was a $100,000 policy that you were the beneficiary of?  Would you be disgusted about receiving that money, mad about having to take it, despise every person that you encountered because all you wanted was that person back and you don't want this $100,000 payout; all because you were a beneficiary on an insurance policy?  

Strange conversation and questions right?  Well, I follow this gal on IG and she is a widow.  She posed a very dark/unhelpful version of what receiving a life insurance policy could or maybe felt like.  She also posed a dark/unhelpful scenario if you didn't have life insurance. It also turned into a dark/angry scenario if you were in the midst of a lawsuit and living in a small town.  This really got me thinking and I read through the majority of the comments.  I was shocked and actually downright sad for all these people that commented and had actually agreed with her 100%.  

There was only one comment that resonated with me and this gal graciously turned it into what I felt people had/were experiencing as well; GUILT.  The root of all evil right there.  These people all had one thing in common, they were hurt.  They were hurting and grieving the loss of their spouse, they were hurting for having been left without anything but grief and paying bills, they were hurting because they had to take a check into the bank and the teller had no pity or too much pity, they were hurt because they were taken advantage of, and they were hurt because their significant others family were not helpful.  When we are hurt and good things happen to us we feel, guilt.  We feel hurt when we are grieving and the hurt just keeps coming and coming; it then turns to guilt. Guilt because we should have done this or done that or why me or so many reasons why.  

I feel for these people and this gal who initiated the post.  I feel for them because they are on a grief journey after losing someone very significant to them and they aren't able to find any joy.  They aren't seeing good in anything; in my opinion some seem stuck.  NOW, do not call me out and say I'm bashing this IG gal, I'm not.  I just feel that her message to guide and help people could be more, well, helpful and not dark/unhelpful.  The questions should be how can we navigate life after loss when we receive a life insurance policy? How can we navigate life after loss when we received no money and now we are drowning in debt?  Who can we turn to guide us with the information? How do we do all of this while staying in our own lane and not worrying about what others think? 

I'm going to break down my experience with life insurance and death.  I am a HUGE advocate for having life insurance, so if the only take away from this you get is go buy a damn policy NOW, then perfect!  I look at a life insurance policy just like the image I attached; a life insurance policy protects your "people". 

My late husband Jack, his father was in the insurance business, so it had been drilled in Jack's head since he was a young boy.  When our daughter Graci & our son Garret were born, we took out Gerber Life Insurance policies on both of them. (they were actually offered to us at the hospital when we gave birth)  It cost us $8/month for a $15,000 policy on our children.  Then the unimaginable happened and our son died.  I honestly forgot about it after Garret died because I was too deep in my grief to remember.  Then, I remembered.  Once we received his death certificate, we processed all the paper work and sent it in; about a couple weeks later we received a check for $15,000.  I think in that instance is where some of these people mentioned above probably thought to themselves "Is this all their life was worth"?  NO, absolutely not.  Life is worth way more than a dollar, we should remember that in our daily living lives as well (don't chase is being with the people who matter).  

My thoughts were this, it was a gift.  A gift that we should receive and accept.  We deserved it (financially and the ultimate loss of our son), but with this gift we were able to do things we wouldn't have been able to otherwise.  We paid for our son's funeral and we bought his headstone.  We didn't have an extra $15,000 laying around for a time like that.  

How I see my late husband's insurance policy is also a gift.  It's a gift for our daughter, it's a gift so we didn't have to be financially strapped, and it was one stressor I could take off of my plate knowing Graci and I would be okay. Now, I can also see how these ladies from above that didn't have insurance, how hard and emotionally stressful it was for them. That is why buying a policy is SO very important.  We all have choices...we can live blindly thinking that death will never ever cross our threshold or we can make the choice to be prepared.  If you are prepared and you receive financial assistance from a life insurance policy; accept the gift your spouse/family member left to you.  I never received a huge check in the mail, it was all automated so I'm not sure I can comment or relate to those ladies feelings on that; but my advice is to stay in your lane, don't worry about what people are thinking of you and your finances (my guess is they really aren't), and take pride in knowing that you get to take care of yourself and your kids (if that's the case) and you can focus on healing after the loss instead of worrying about financial hardships.  

I will mention too, that I empathize with people that are angry.  That's what death does is leaves us angry, death leaves us mad, all we want is our people back.  We don't want anything but our person...that's it.  I get that, but we know that won't happen.  So we have to view this with a different lens, a lens of hope, a lens of strength, and even a lens of faith.  

I also know that there are shady people out there that take advantage of us.  Please do your due diligence in acquiring a life insurance policy, finding a reputable company or chatting with your "person" about it BEFORE they die.  Communication is key...DO NOT BE BLIND AND THINK DEATH WON'T HAPPEN TO YOU.  Honestly it's not too hard out there to find a reputable insurance company on the good old google!  

Together WE are better and if you aren't sure how to start the conversation or find the reputable company, talk to a friend or family member.  Talk to your boss about a company policy if they offer one.  I'd LOVE to hear feedback from you regarding this and if you see it my way or their way?  I'm curious if I'm abnormal or if they are ;) I honestly think we need to find joy in the journey somehow/someway, even when the worst happens.  



Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.